Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Old Lady Cried

she was 73 years old, and quite a hefty woman for her age i might add. piercing gray-blue eyes, a worn out voice, and a body that no longer showed her glory from the old days, she sat on the park bench in her powder green dress, with a bag of groceries and her rugged copy of 'wuthering heights'. she had a soft smile plastered on her face, hiding the work her mind was doing. Mrs. Norman, or gran, was what most of the people called her. she'd play with the little ones when they had no one else to go to, baby sit for the parents who were never around to watch their kids grow, and chat with the lonely ones her own age, sharing the grief and happiness together. to those who barely knew her, she was the 'old lady' across the street, living in the brown brick apartment buliding on the ground floor. Wilma Norman was a normal woman of sorts.
her husband passed away nearly 8 years ago, and her grief was not known to the others, for she was as jolly as a tulip swaying in the warm summer wind. it was 2pm in the afternoon that she walked home. she unlocked the door, hung up her pink sweater, and left the keys on the dresser. she kissed her husband's portrait in the corridor, and smiled at his content face. she made tea, and sipped it as she laughed at the children playing next door.
Alison, her 27 year old daughter, was married, and lived a few blocks away from Gran. she was a spitting image of her mother at her age, and just as vibrant. Alison had twin children, Anna and Jack, and her husband Adam, was just as dear to Gran as her own child.
mid-afternoon, as Gran was arranging her library, Alison came by to drop of the twins. "Ma, i'm going by the mall...Adam's away at work, and i was going to take them with me to shop for new clothes for them, but they said they wanted to play with you.", she smiled. Mrs. Norman's face broke into her wide playful grin as the two children jumped into her arms. "oh my two darlings, i have a game in mind for you...and some cookies in the kitchen. go get 'em!" the twins squirmed as she tickled them and then ran to the kitchen to gorge on the cookies. Alison hugged her mother and said "thanks, Ma. you look a little pale. anything i can get you? you really need to stop running around all the time." Wilma laughed at that and said "why would you say that and take the remainder of my youth away from me? i'm happy, aly, as happy as i've always been. don't you worry." Alison kissed her mother and her two children goodbye. that afternoon, Mrs. Norman read to her two grandchildren, played with their train set, danced around with them and finally dropped them off at her daughter's house. she came back home after chatting with her friends along the way, and made dinner. later that night, she caught an episode of her night time t.v shows, before changing for bed.
it was late, when she finally retired to her room for the day. she smiled back at the day she had had, her two angels, her daughter, her son, her friends...everyine she loved was always on her mind. she stared at the ceiling and thought of her husband. his side of the bed empty, his pillow untouched, his bedspread neat. a tear then trickled down her cheek. true, she was Wilma Norman, the Gran who always smiled. but no one ever knew that every night as she lay in bed and thought of the love of her life, the old lady cried.

P.S: NOT a true story. the title line is the only thing i'd thought of, the rest came along while typing. =)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Never Regret

i'm in a very hoop-la-doodle-dee-do-ish mood. i just got my hair chopped off. totally different for me. i had shoulder length thick hair, well now, its just in a short mop on my head. my grandmom stares at me like i just decided to turn into a man. i was just doing some thinking...about the times i spent in school, my ex-boyfriend, the times WE spent, friends who changed so much that they made it impossible for me to love them anymore, how much i've changed...and the newest thought was Michael Jackson. wasn't much of a fan to be honest, but yeah, he had me mesmerised everytime 'heal the world', 'thriller' and 'beat it' was played. all of this, gave me just one conclusion; you can fuck up as many times as you want, ruin your life, even, but that's what you're here for...you're here to create YOUR OWN mistakes, your own nightmares. and no matter how much guilt you have inside you, it's important to never regret any decision you ever made. yes, i'm guilty for doing SO many things wrong. everyday i wish i could correct my own mistakes. but that can't happen. we're human, heck we were born to be mistakes!! i'm glad i'm growing up to be more like my mom...though i'll never agree to one thing; i'm a spitfire...and once a spitfire, ALWAYS a spitfire! i'm glad for everything that messed up my life along the way. it's just given me thicker skin. at least i'm not crying over every silly fight or a rumor that's spread about me. i still don't know who i am, and honestly, i don't care if i die not knowing. for now, this is me, and i don't regret what i've become. some may think i'm this 'couldn't-care-less' bitch in a fat girl's body, but only those who know me know about the times i cry over my lies, my insecurities, my drawbacks. my support system, is you all.

i'm sorry i broke your heart, but it just wasn;t hapening.
i care a damn about what you say about me. the one's who care won't listen. the one's who listen, don't care.

i promise, i'll never regret anything. ever.


Friday, June 19, 2009

All Designers

i'm contemplating my future careers at the moment. my dreams of being a designer/writer/hopeful actress seem to be sinking down down deep in the ground. i feel like an ostrich, as a matter of fact. but while showering today (most of my thinking happens there, so don't laugh!), i realized that anyone who creates a piece of clothing IS a designer. i'm not talking about me. heck, i can't sew to save my life. but, you know the small cute tops you buy off the little shack of a stall in your prime thrift shopping area, were created by someone. you liked the pattern and design. hence, you liked THEIR design. hence, clearly, they're designers.

in my opinion, you actually don't really need a degree to start an actual big time career as an acclaimed designer. a degree is all that actually let's you call yourself a designer openly. a piece of paper, stating that you passed out of *name college* after learning all about the art of design and are now good enough to be presented to the world as a raw piece of meat waiting to be chewed on by worldwide retailers.

...i'm done talking. thanks for reading, if you did!